I'm still getting back on track - I feel like I've come back from a 10 day vacation! God, I sound like I'm 60.
I loved every second of it!
SEX:
Sabrina and Body - learn to listen to each other. You both speak the same language, I promise. The problem is that you both carry very heavy accents and must realize that the same word and thought is being spoken and expressed. Biggest problem in life/acting - learning to listen.
Don't worry about the boy, the outfit, the time, the moment, the hair, whatever - all that matters is that you kiss when you truly want to kiss. Most of the time (in my case) I kiss to have fun - I can understand when my mind wants a boy much more than my body does - however, the second they both want the boy - it is unreal because for the first time your body is hungry for them.
The reason this seems like such an unreachable state of mind and body is because we are taught to "think" and "do" our days and lives. We are taught to think - "He is hot" - SEX. Yes, a little exaggerated. However, when is the last time the second you looked at a boy you got wet? Or when is the last time you saw a boy your body did a summersault while your mind did two to keep up? Sometimes I'm afraid that I allow my mind to take over what I think I should feel, or who I think I should be with, or what I think I should be doing - when really I need to learn to make a mind body connection and make my whole self understand my life.
In less abstractness, don't analyze the situation - go on with your lovely model/eating/cooking/exercising/reading days and the second you feel something for someone - listen to yourself. It might be the absolute last person you ever expected who speaks to you as a whole versus just your mind.
Bri sweetheart - you are sex goddess - however, the goddess needs the lack of her voice to be heard!
CHEESE:
I need my mom to send me some.
WINE:
My Indian sister and I shared a bottle! Was not tipsy...ahhh goodness Ajna
READING:
Dirt. The Ecstatic Skin of the Earth. Started first page of HOOKED!
WIFEY:
My dearest wife, I loved spending last night with you! I hope you are feeling better and I will always be here to talk. I thought I would write a little on the blog that you can maybe come back to and read if you are ever feeling down.
Dearest Alana,
At this moment in time you are weak and struck by love. Do not be ashamed or embarrassed. Embrace it! For the whole of life is based on this! Otherwise we might as well be dead!
I know, I know, much much easier said than done. Being struck by love is stronger than a head on collision - I understand. I know the feeling or lack of feeling within you is eating you up alive and reminding you of moments you wish you could not remember! How I wish my memory would fail on me at times - and of course, never does.
Although, with all that said - why don't you allow the weakness within you. Let it seep deep deep within you. Breathe it. Be it. And learn to use it. Use it to make you strong. For strength would never have been a word if weakness was not already a word! You must feel one in order to feel the other. What I'm trying to tell you my dearest wife whom I'm madly in love with - is that you are strong - but it will only come to you once you have accepted that this is a weak moment and it is hard and that you can and will pull through.
Let "time" in your life. The weak will morph seconds into minutes and minutes into hours - but let it! For strength will only come from this and before you know it you will be on your feet smiling! I will be swinging by your house plenty! When I was in my weakest moments - I found myself in your bed - so please call me/ text me/ come to Seneca/ whatever - I am here!
love you!
DRAGONS:
I love you both!!!! Have to go to acting class now! My name is Helena! I'm a t.v. super star in the scene and I'm going back to meet my old boyfriend who I dumped - I am going to make sure he won't spread rumors about me to the media! God forbid the media eats you dead or alive. But, of course I can't tell him this - I have to make it seem as if I'm coming to say hi to him - see how he is doing - then gently let it slip that I would appreciate it if we kept our relationship on the dl. Problem: I left him the second I got a gig, left the engagement, never called for two years. So this meeting is going to be weird and it is up to me to make it go well because he is beyond angry - he is mad/love angry at me and does not know what to do when he sees me - and regardless of how cruel I maybe was - it's so hard to see him like this and to know that I did it.
Yet at the same time, if the media saw it, that would be even worse. (that is Helena speaking)
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