I was going to Paddy Murphy's last night to face the music. People are in town so I was going to meet them. I drank half a bottle of wine and had a sleepover with Ms. Chessie before I had work in the morning yesterday. I was going out again yesterday night.
Mom told me that she didn't want me drinking much. I assumed it was because she didn't want me to drink and drive. No mom, I'm not, obviously. I stayed at Chessie's yesterday precisely because I didn't want to drive.
No Brie, that wasn't Mom's concern. She didn't want me to put on five pounds, so to speak. Because then New York would change her mind on me. She would look the other way and scoff at my fat ass. My hips are still teetering the fine line between acceptable-tall model and hippopotamus.
But I think it is all in our heads. My weight was not an issue to anyone. My 35 inch hips (which magically measured at 35" with the NY's measuring tapes to 1129ShadyRestLn's honest measurement of 36"!)
It's a fine line. Mom cares enough to pull out her sharpy and make it into a fat line. I have to trust my own ability and self control to keep hippo out. Not Mom's paranoia. It's a scary fixation.
This morning Mom asked me to join her at IHOP because she was craving the pumpkin pancakes with caramel and whipped cream. We shared an order. Hm.
I've had better pancakes. These were not the pancakes she remembers and didn't shut up about. The International House of Pancakes, Naples, Florida is not on par with the one in Tampa I suppose.
why do i do this to myself? i stuffed myself and feel sickly full. So, just for kicks, I weighed myself. Hippo weighed in at 125.4 lbs. holy shit. I average, in my morning weigh-ins at 118.8 +/-.
ReplyDeletei think i'm cleansing my body the next couple days. salad and protein. vegan / raw. something light and healthy with lots of cucumber.
ReplyDeletei think i'm going to cleanse my body the next couple days and flush out my system.
ReplyDelete