hello hello

Ohh I’ve missed this virtual space where all my emotions cluster and tell a story! I hope you both are doing well – I miss both of you very much. These are my last few days in Austin, and as much as I am sad to leave everyone, I’m beyond excited to start a whole new lifestyle.

I just went to Half-Price books and bought “Practical Handbook for Actors.” Kevin told me everything that was wrong with me as an actress and said this book should fix some of it. ha. I love his interest in me as an actress. I love how he is so disgustingly honest with me, it is the most pure form of respect I have yet to swallow. And I’m addicted.

I am both excited and petrified to act. Absolutely terrified. Am I am mother-fucking nut? These questions keep charging at me as if I’m some target for them – and I’ve decided to stop dodging them like a fool and instead become a dartboard. “Charge,” I tell them – “Charge at me and see if you can nail me in the center!” – “I dare you!” Sly little fuckers charge their little hearts out and keep missing – missing my center. So basically, now all I have to do is walk straight into my fear and realize that I can find its epicenter and crush it, while it cannot find me.

Anyways, excuse the fear monologue – its my inner voice jumping at my fingers and keyboard. I love you both – Alana good luck on your paper and hope to see you on Monday? Sabrina – Congratulations! Call me and tell me everything about New York. Like I said, I think you should go with NYC – and be honest with 310 – see what they say. xoxoxoxo