i'm not invincible when it comes to markael. the phone tormented me yesterday. i cried in my bed. in naples, i can't use the pretty model boy or change of scenery to occupy my attention. i crave him in my life in whatever capacity i can get and it's driving me insane every stupid minute i don't hear from him telling me he's sorry for taking so long to get back to me and of coarse he wants to immediately come over or me to go to starbucks or whatever. just to be friends. i won't let myself want more because i refuse to be in any sort of on and off relationship, and he flipped it off.
fuck me.
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