MY KAKA

I want to write this down because it was too funny to never be written down, even if it is late.

I was talking to Ajna on the phone a while ago, and took a pebble/popcorn shit at the same time. It wasn't messy or anything, so I didn't need a lot of toilet paper or anything. (This detail may seem tmi, but is necessary for later.) Well, the whole thing didn't flush and I had tea screaming at me in the kitchen. So I put the lid down on the toilet and made a note to myself to go back and flush again in a few minutes, after the toilet bowl had refilled. Of coarse, I forgot.

My new roommate from Japan, Kaori, went into the bathroom. I didn't think anything of it. She then quietly sought out Monica, our other roommate because she was having problems in the bathroom. The toilet was flooding. Monica and Kaori go to the bathroom together so Monica and check out the problem, since she's the lease holder and the one that would know where the plunger is, or if we had one.

At this point I realize what's going on and that I had left my shit in the toilet. So Kaori must have gone to the bathroom, seen my shit, and preflushed. And for whatever reason (not me clogging it! I swear or I'd easily admit it!) the toilet started flooding. The toilet lid was down.

I tell Monica that I had left my shit in the toilet before Kaori and that I think poor Kaori tried to preflush and must be so embarrassed because we'd think it's her shit in the flooding toilet. Water is overflowing at this point onto the floor.

I open the lid to find my shit, after all, this is definitely my problem and I don't feel guilty, just bad that Kaori was so mortified about it when it was me. I couldn't stop laughing. But there was no poop! Monica and I scan the floor if it had fallen out...but there was no pebble pooop to be found!

I turn to Kaori and ask her where my shit had gone. That I know there was shit, because it was mine. Well, she threw it away. In the trash. The thing is, Kaori isn't totally fluent in English, she's still learning. So she demonstrates her action of woosh!, gently and swiftly tossing the little poop into the trash. Only a few key words are spoken, like 'trash.'

Oh My God. OH MY GOD! My poor foreign roommate threw away my shit! She was so self-conscious about Monica thinking it was her shit, that she threw it away in the trash!

I couldn't stop laughing, in my silent choking way. I actually slid to the ground laughing, in the bathroom, in the overflowing toilet water. I couldn't stop. Monica is still piecing together the whole story too since English isn't her first language either (she's Brazilian).

So there the three of us are. Monica and Kaori kind of confused and worried about the overflowing toilet...and me, laughing my ass off on the floor of the little bathroom. They started laughing too, delayed, once they were able to straighten out the story with each other and the details with me.

"So where's the poop Kaori? Sabrina said that she did kaka in the toilet and left it here. Sabrina, why would you leave your kaka in the toilet?".....(my broken explanation)..."I, I didn't want you think mine...so trash."

I got up and out of the bathroom when Monica notified the landlord and he came up with a plunger and stopped the flooding.

After a month of Monica and I living together, we definitely broke the ice for the first time, in terms of comfort. Soft spoken, disciplined Kaori did on her second day.

We drunkenly recalled the episode over our family, international thanksgiving feast. Kaori, in still-broken-but-much-improved English confessed she did it with her bare hand. She said it was so little, and not messy or smelly.