i didn't know what to title this post because i honestly don't think i have much to say. i had my meeting i emailed you both about and it was less than exciting. she didn't mention anything Zrom the email she sent me so i really think i need to take everything into my own hands and go Zor everything...i don't have ANTM as any excuse not to kick back into gear anymore, so i have tons to do but i think i'm slightly intimidated by it all and then i'm making up invalid excuses in my head. so basically i need to get oZZ my ass and get to work. (not hostessing!) i'm picking up a Zriend i haven't seen since highschool to crash a party. last night i met up with Zidel and another Zriend i haven't seen in years, devin. devin is a weird kid. kind oZ awkward and seemingly in denial oZ being gay still. i Zeel like he is one oZ those people i want to help or Zix in some way...isn't that kind oZ sick? i want to see him because there is something Zundamentally broken about him. i've always Zelt this way about him. a touch oZ pity. it's kind oZ revolting that i'm even talking about it like this. but i Zeel like i do this with some people. but it isn't all about him. i'm alone here. he is someone i can check oZZ in my head as 'a Zriend.' I just like being able to say i have another one in this damn town. i don't know what is more desperate...me...discusgustingly justiZying my Zriendship with him out oZ pity and then overanalyzing it on a blog to you girls...or him in the Zirst place...and all the original things about him that make me pity him.
so enough oZ that! breath out. no creative writing or wit Zrom me. just Z Zilled thought vomit. (ok, so originally i just wrote Zomit. then realized that it was a 'v' not 'eph' > no Z necessary.
i'm done.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
a-lala
A-LALA
Why are you silent?
Why are you hiding from SEX, CHEESE, WINE, READING in the CITY?
Why are you depriving sweet shit and princess of your words of wisdom?
Oh how we miss your voice!
Do humor and spoil us with your presence!
We crave it!
I am a princess,
And from the Royal Kingdom of onenineoneonebdavid
I bow in honor of your presence.
Why are you silent?
Why are you hiding from SEX, CHEESE, WINE, READING in the CITY?
Why are you depriving sweet shit and princess of your words of wisdom?
Oh how we miss your voice!
Do humor and spoil us with your presence!
We crave it!
I am a princess,
And from the Royal Kingdom of onenineoneonebdavid
I bow in honor of your presence.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Bricolage
Bricolage project: Due Tuesday
I have couple of ideas - using all the pages of my notebook, however in what form, I
don't know. I'm thinking of maybe making them into curtains that I can hang on a curtain rod. Or make some type of frame for them and stack them. Basically, I need to do some writing about what exactly this wil be, but at this moment I'm thinking of seeing it as my thoughts in 3D or Steve Ross's syllabus or Theory.
Any suggestions? He said he wanted us to do justice to this - to bring life into it.
I have couple of ideas - using all the pages of my notebook, however in what form, I
don't know. I'm thinking of maybe making them into curtains that I can hang on a curtain rod. Or make some type of frame for them and stack them. Basically, I need to do some writing about what exactly this wil be, but at this moment I'm thinking of seeing it as my thoughts in 3D or Steve Ross's syllabus or Theory.
Any suggestions? He said he wanted us to do justice to this - to bring life into it.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Practice Theory: Michael Jackson, Bathrooms, Beauty, Symmetry - My thoughts
With the idea left at the end of class on Tuesday – to find connections with bathrooms, fantasies, architecture, and beauty – and with such broad abstract terms I can’t help myself, but come up with connections that I swear I never knew existed.
I will begin with my fantasy, Micheal Jackson a.k.a King of Pop. Ever since I was eight years old I’ve been infatuated, head over heels, in love, obsessed, whatever you want to call it with Smooth Criminal. There was just something about the way that whole music video worked that I could not get enough of. Most of my after school days began and ended with vhs recordings my dad had of Michael Jackson and Madonna – Play. Rewind. Play. Rewind. Play. Rewind. (Mom taking remote.) Homework. Dinner. Play. Rewind. Play. Rewind. Stop. Sleep. Fast Forward through school. Play. Rewind.
There was a naturalness within Michael Jackson that still flabbergasts me. It was almost as if he was singing and dancing for himself first and then for his audience. It made me wonder about performance and entertainment – yes, the ultimate goal is to entertain the audience, however can one entertain without truly entertaining themselves? There were moments that Michael Jackson would dance and sing with such an inherent feel of himself that I wondered if he even noticed the thousands of eyes were glued to his skinny dancing legs.
The reason I bring up his “naturalness” is that most people cannot be “natural.” I do not mean this in a rude way – however, self-consciousness consumes us from head to toe from capital letter to period – how often do we not think about what we are doing?
I have one answer: When we are in the bathroom!
(I bet Michael Jackson sounds the exact same on stage as he does in the shower.)
There is some simultaneous symmetrical connection between cleaning/bathing, being alone (or with those who are of utmost comfort to you), and being in a different space that allows every movement and act to come together:
Symmetry is the correspondence in size, form, and arrangement of parts on opposite sides of a plane, line, or point. Therefore, one side of the plane/line/point is me, and the other side of the plane/line/point is the space. The correspondence is how much does this space allow me to express myself, and how much I express myself. The size depends on how big/small my expressions are and how much the space can handle or let’s say evokes. The form depends on personality of the being and the personality of the space. If in some way each side of the plane/line/point balance out – symmetry is achieved.
Now to put this in bathroom sense: The correspondence depends on how at ease I feel with the space and how at ease the space feels with me – now this is a tough one to achieve – for does my self-consciousness melt away in large spaces that are all mine or small spaces? Do I like bathing in showers, tubs, both, glass shower doors, shower curtains…it’s endless – this is my job to figure out to hold my end of the plane/line/point. On the other hand, the space must know ahead of time who I am, yet give me full permission to touch it, feel it, rub it, squeeze it, talk to it, dress it, scream at it, undress it, love it, and ultimately kiss it! The space must have its arms open – and I must allow myself to feel them.
At times I feel examples of symmetry are so literal that symmetry itself must feel absolutely violated. For if symmetry is not a “symmetrical” word then how on Earth must everything born from it be? I believe symmetry is in our life. Isn’t the ultimate – balance? Symmetry is a form of balance – it is when one side mirrors the other – both sides have an inherent understanding of each other, yet function as opposites - just as architecture and client. (bathroom and user)
This is what I feel artists struggle with their whole lives – trying to achieve a balance. That point where it is “just right.” However, at times I feel we spend more of our time trying to figure out HOW to do this – instead of maybe just doing it. I agree much easier said than done, especially for me. However, words and words have been written, said, preached, screamed, whispered over and over exploring and dissecting the animal of symmetry of balance. We’ve carved into every muscle, every joint, every nerve. We’ve amputated its legs and arms and replaced our own. We’ve gently extracted its eyes and transplanted them into our sockets. Oh how we’ve not only dissected the animal of symmetry and balance, we’ve practically dissected ourselves as well! For our arms, our legs, our eyes – they are not ours!
Some go forever not noticing that they are indeed dissecting themselves – life is symmetry – what happens on one side happens on the other (mirror image). With this said, maybe we should stroke the animal of symmetry and balance and watch it run around. Watch it lick up water. Watch it scratch its ear. Watch it bark, meow, roar – whatever you please. Watch it be. Watch it be itself. And then maybe we can be ourselves. Our natural selves.
Oh how I love words that should make sense, but in reality don’t – “Be your natural self.” Maybe if architecture became as natural as taking a shower or shit – we would all become the Michael Jackson’s of architecture a.k.a King/Queen of
The Drawn & Constructed Line.
I will begin with my fantasy, Micheal Jackson a.k.a King of Pop. Ever since I was eight years old I’ve been infatuated, head over heels, in love, obsessed, whatever you want to call it with Smooth Criminal. There was just something about the way that whole music video worked that I could not get enough of. Most of my after school days began and ended with vhs recordings my dad had of Michael Jackson and Madonna – Play. Rewind. Play. Rewind. Play. Rewind. (Mom taking remote.) Homework. Dinner. Play. Rewind. Play. Rewind. Stop. Sleep. Fast Forward through school. Play. Rewind.
There was a naturalness within Michael Jackson that still flabbergasts me. It was almost as if he was singing and dancing for himself first and then for his audience. It made me wonder about performance and entertainment – yes, the ultimate goal is to entertain the audience, however can one entertain without truly entertaining themselves? There were moments that Michael Jackson would dance and sing with such an inherent feel of himself that I wondered if he even noticed the thousands of eyes were glued to his skinny dancing legs.
The reason I bring up his “naturalness” is that most people cannot be “natural.” I do not mean this in a rude way – however, self-consciousness consumes us from head to toe from capital letter to period – how often do we not think about what we are doing?
I have one answer: When we are in the bathroom!
(I bet Michael Jackson sounds the exact same on stage as he does in the shower.)
There is some simultaneous symmetrical connection between cleaning/bathing, being alone (or with those who are of utmost comfort to you), and being in a different space that allows every movement and act to come together:
Symmetry is the correspondence in size, form, and arrangement of parts on opposite sides of a plane, line, or point. Therefore, one side of the plane/line/point is me, and the other side of the plane/line/point is the space. The correspondence is how much does this space allow me to express myself, and how much I express myself. The size depends on how big/small my expressions are and how much the space can handle or let’s say evokes. The form depends on personality of the being and the personality of the space. If in some way each side of the plane/line/point balance out – symmetry is achieved.
Now to put this in bathroom sense: The correspondence depends on how at ease I feel with the space and how at ease the space feels with me – now this is a tough one to achieve – for does my self-consciousness melt away in large spaces that are all mine or small spaces? Do I like bathing in showers, tubs, both, glass shower doors, shower curtains…it’s endless – this is my job to figure out to hold my end of the plane/line/point. On the other hand, the space must know ahead of time who I am, yet give me full permission to touch it, feel it, rub it, squeeze it, talk to it, dress it, scream at it, undress it, love it, and ultimately kiss it! The space must have its arms open – and I must allow myself to feel them.
At times I feel examples of symmetry are so literal that symmetry itself must feel absolutely violated. For if symmetry is not a “symmetrical” word then how on Earth must everything born from it be? I believe symmetry is in our life. Isn’t the ultimate – balance? Symmetry is a form of balance – it is when one side mirrors the other – both sides have an inherent understanding of each other, yet function as opposites - just as architecture and client. (bathroom and user)
This is what I feel artists struggle with their whole lives – trying to achieve a balance. That point where it is “just right.” However, at times I feel we spend more of our time trying to figure out HOW to do this – instead of maybe just doing it. I agree much easier said than done, especially for me. However, words and words have been written, said, preached, screamed, whispered over and over exploring and dissecting the animal of symmetry of balance. We’ve carved into every muscle, every joint, every nerve. We’ve amputated its legs and arms and replaced our own. We’ve gently extracted its eyes and transplanted them into our sockets. Oh how we’ve not only dissected the animal of symmetry and balance, we’ve practically dissected ourselves as well! For our arms, our legs, our eyes – they are not ours!
Some go forever not noticing that they are indeed dissecting themselves – life is symmetry – what happens on one side happens on the other (mirror image). With this said, maybe we should stroke the animal of symmetry and balance and watch it run around. Watch it lick up water. Watch it scratch its ear. Watch it bark, meow, roar – whatever you please. Watch it be. Watch it be itself. And then maybe we can be ourselves. Our natural selves.
Oh how I love words that should make sense, but in reality don’t – “Be your natural self.” Maybe if architecture became as natural as taking a shower or shit – we would all become the Michael Jackson’s of architecture a.k.a King/Queen of
The Drawn & Constructed Line.
Yogurt-Zucchini-Carrot-Banana-Nut Bread (cranberries too?)
i had pilates at 10:30 (six minutes ago) but had a voicemail Zrom my gym that it was canceled. so i'm baking instead. exercising my mind, tastebuds, and olZactory senses instead. i made this once beZore but i'm changing it up a little.
Ingredients
1. 1 cup walnut halves (4 ounces)
2. 2 cups all-purpose flour
3. 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
4. 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
5. 1/2 teaspoon salt
6. 3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
7. 2 large eggs
8. 1/2 cup vegetable oil
9. 1/2 cup fat-free plain Greek yogurt
10. 1 cup coarsely grated zucchini (from about 1 medium zucchini)
11.
Directions
1. Preheat the oven to 325°. Butter and flour a 9-by-4 1/2-inch metal loaf pan. Spread the walnut halves in a pie plate and toast them for about 8 minutes, until they are fragrant. Transfer the toasted walnuts to a cutting board and coarsely chop them, then freeze for 5 minutes to cool.
2. In a large bowl, whisk the flour with the baking powder, baking soda and salt. In a medium bowl, mix the sugar with the eggs, vegetable oil and fat-free yogurt. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients along with the grated zucchini and toasted walnuts and stir until the batter is evenly moistened. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and bake for about 1 hour and 10 minutes, until the loaf is risen and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let the loaf cool on a rack for 30 minutes before unmolding and serving.
**I'm replacing the Zlour with a combo oZ coconut Zlour, whole-wheat Zlour, Soy Zlour...whatever i have in the pantry; obviously i'm adding a Zew other ingredients indicated in the title that i have in my Zridge; and i'm short on walnuts, so it'll be less nutty :(
i will post the outcome.
Ingredients
1. 1 cup walnut halves (4 ounces)
2. 2 cups all-purpose flour
3. 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
4. 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
5. 1/2 teaspoon salt
6. 3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
7. 2 large eggs
8. 1/2 cup vegetable oil
9. 1/2 cup fat-free plain Greek yogurt
10. 1 cup coarsely grated zucchini (from about 1 medium zucchini)
11.
Directions
1. Preheat the oven to 325°. Butter and flour a 9-by-4 1/2-inch metal loaf pan. Spread the walnut halves in a pie plate and toast them for about 8 minutes, until they are fragrant. Transfer the toasted walnuts to a cutting board and coarsely chop them, then freeze for 5 minutes to cool.
2. In a large bowl, whisk the flour with the baking powder, baking soda and salt. In a medium bowl, mix the sugar with the eggs, vegetable oil and fat-free yogurt. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients along with the grated zucchini and toasted walnuts and stir until the batter is evenly moistened. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and bake for about 1 hour and 10 minutes, until the loaf is risen and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let the loaf cool on a rack for 30 minutes before unmolding and serving.
**I'm replacing the Zlour with a combo oZ coconut Zlour, whole-wheat Zlour, Soy Zlour...whatever i have in the pantry; obviously i'm adding a Zew other ingredients indicated in the title that i have in my Zridge; and i'm short on walnuts, so it'll be less nutty :(
i will post the outcome.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Crash and Burn Me alive
I bombed the scene. It was a scene for a UT directing film class - basically I did not have the glory role and I basically got "shy" is what Kevin said. UGHHHHHHH. I am so frustrated/sad/annoyed/confused! This is what I want to do with my life and I just made an ass of myself. Amazing. Simply Amazing.
Then as the self-conscious destructive side of me beats me up - the positive side of me says that this is awesome because I just had an amazing opportunity: I fucked up - the class spent fifteen minutes saying how my character could become stronger. I had fifteen directing students helping me. What more lavish way could I have messed up? I should take this is as some sort of blessing and when we actually film the scene - make it better!
I wish I could think like that for long until my destructiveness keeps saying: "Yea, good fucking job Ajna. Guess what - you are a boring actress! And no one likes watching boring things. Are you delusional?"
fuck you destructiveness.
Seriously, I should take this positively and make the best of it and make a strong comeback in the filming. Kevin sugar coated all his words tonight before I chewed them, swallowed, and now throwing them up. BITE me.
I am supposed to go get coffee with Agustin right now, when I desperately need someone, but he did not answer his phone. I called my mom and freaked out and she said she does not know what to say. Well thanks Mother! (go read some parenting books for your sake and mine)
I keep hoping and believing that this is that time. That time when you're learning. You're learning the art and craft of what you love and every time you mess up you take it so personally that you don't know what to do with yourself. I keep hoping that I can look back at moments like these and see that the whole point of acting is learning yourself and experience - and how on Earth can I expect so much from myself when Architecture ticks my clock and the fact that I never truly have time to devote to this? How can I get so angry at myself? Sometimes I hope it can turn into motivation, but it most definitely does not.
Anyways, yes I'm being melodramatic and will probably be bubbly by tomorrow morning. But I seriously don't want this to keep happening to me - I want to act - nothing else. I also want to allow myself the time and space to act - I can't squish my day and expect acting to fit in it. i'm so sad.
Ajna
Then as the self-conscious destructive side of me beats me up - the positive side of me says that this is awesome because I just had an amazing opportunity: I fucked up - the class spent fifteen minutes saying how my character could become stronger. I had fifteen directing students helping me. What more lavish way could I have messed up? I should take this is as some sort of blessing and when we actually film the scene - make it better!
I wish I could think like that for long until my destructiveness keeps saying: "Yea, good fucking job Ajna. Guess what - you are a boring actress! And no one likes watching boring things. Are you delusional?"
fuck you destructiveness.
Seriously, I should take this positively and make the best of it and make a strong comeback in the filming. Kevin sugar coated all his words tonight before I chewed them, swallowed, and now throwing them up. BITE me.
I am supposed to go get coffee with Agustin right now, when I desperately need someone, but he did not answer his phone. I called my mom and freaked out and she said she does not know what to say. Well thanks Mother! (go read some parenting books for your sake and mine)
I keep hoping and believing that this is that time. That time when you're learning. You're learning the art and craft of what you love and every time you mess up you take it so personally that you don't know what to do with yourself. I keep hoping that I can look back at moments like these and see that the whole point of acting is learning yourself and experience - and how on Earth can I expect so much from myself when Architecture ticks my clock and the fact that I never truly have time to devote to this? How can I get so angry at myself? Sometimes I hope it can turn into motivation, but it most definitely does not.
Anyways, yes I'm being melodramatic and will probably be bubbly by tomorrow morning. But I seriously don't want this to keep happening to me - I want to act - nothing else. I also want to allow myself the time and space to act - I can't squish my day and expect acting to fit in it. i'm so sad.
Ajna
Lesly
I am emotionally preparing for my scene tonight (for right now, my name is Lesly) in Kevin's directing class. More so than myself, I adore Kevin and bonding with him through scenes is almost tantalizing. Ahhhhh. We share a wonderful acting bond. Will tell you all about it after!
I'm also having coffee with my husband - I feel like we haven't sat down together in much much too long.
love you girlsss
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Time Table ClockWork I'm a fucking Ticking CLOCK - read me
Ohhhh I have my days planned out to the second - shit. In some ways it's absolutely fascinating and I love it - sometimes I forget the days have passed by. I realized what makes the difference - my morning/evening. One of the two NEEDS to be MINE. If I don't have a quiet morning/evening in my jewel of a room - all to myself - where time does not exist - I fall in love with my hectic day where I'm so proud at how much I'm achieving. Yet, the second I don't have that time (along with my yoga time) I'm an ABSOLUTE wreck. crash and burn. major.
I'm still getting back on track - I feel like I've come back from a 10 day vacation! God, I sound like I'm 60.
I'm still getting back on track - I feel like I've come back from a 10 day vacation! God, I sound like I'm 60.
I loved every second of it!
SEX:
Sabrina and Body - learn to listen to each other. You both speak the same language, I promise. The problem is that you both carry very heavy accents and must realize that the same word and thought is being spoken and expressed. Biggest problem in life/acting - learning to listen.
Don't worry about the boy, the outfit, the time, the moment, the hair, whatever - all that matters is that you kiss when you truly want to kiss. Most of the time (in my case) I kiss to have fun - I can understand when my mind wants a boy much more than my body does - however, the second they both want the boy - it is unreal because for the first time your body is hungry for them.
The reason this seems like such an unreachable state of mind and body is because we are taught to "think" and "do" our days and lives. We are taught to think - "He is hot" - SEX. Yes, a little exaggerated. However, when is the last time the second you looked at a boy you got wet? Or when is the last time you saw a boy your body did a summersault while your mind did two to keep up? Sometimes I'm afraid that I allow my mind to take over what I think I should feel, or who I think I should be with, or what I think I should be doing - when really I need to learn to make a mind body connection and make my whole self understand my life.
In less abstractness, don't analyze the situation - go on with your lovely model/eating/cooking/exercising/reading days and the second you feel something for someone - listen to yourself. It might be the absolute last person you ever expected who speaks to you as a whole versus just your mind.
Bri sweetheart - you are sex goddess - however, the goddess needs the lack of her voice to be heard!
CHEESE:
I need my mom to send me some.
WINE:
My Indian sister and I shared a bottle! Was not tipsy...ahhh goodness Ajna
READING:
Dirt. The Ecstatic Skin of the Earth. Started first page of HOOKED!
WIFEY:
My dearest wife, I loved spending last night with you! I hope you are feeling better and I will always be here to talk. I thought I would write a little on the blog that you can maybe come back to and read if you are ever feeling down.
Dearest Alana,
At this moment in time you are weak and struck by love. Do not be ashamed or embarrassed. Embrace it! For the whole of life is based on this! Otherwise we might as well be dead!
I know, I know, much much easier said than done. Being struck by love is stronger than a head on collision - I understand. I know the feeling or lack of feeling within you is eating you up alive and reminding you of moments you wish you could not remember! How I wish my memory would fail on me at times - and of course, never does.
Although, with all that said - why don't you allow the weakness within you. Let it seep deep deep within you. Breathe it. Be it. And learn to use it. Use it to make you strong. For strength would never have been a word if weakness was not already a word! You must feel one in order to feel the other. What I'm trying to tell you my dearest wife whom I'm madly in love with - is that you are strong - but it will only come to you once you have accepted that this is a weak moment and it is hard and that you can and will pull through.
Let "time" in your life. The weak will morph seconds into minutes and minutes into hours - but let it! For strength will only come from this and before you know it you will be on your feet smiling! I will be swinging by your house plenty! When I was in my weakest moments - I found myself in your bed - so please call me/ text me/ come to Seneca/ whatever - I am here!
love you!
DRAGONS:
I love you both!!!! Have to go to acting class now! My name is Helena! I'm a t.v. super star in the scene and I'm going back to meet my old boyfriend who I dumped - I am going to make sure he won't spread rumors about me to the media! God forbid the media eats you dead or alive. But, of course I can't tell him this - I have to make it seem as if I'm coming to say hi to him - see how he is doing - then gently let it slip that I would appreciate it if we kept our relationship on the dl. Problem: I left him the second I got a gig, left the engagement, never called for two years. So this meeting is going to be weird and it is up to me to make it go well because he is beyond angry - he is mad/love angry at me and does not know what to do when he sees me - and regardless of how cruel I maybe was - it's so hard to see him like this and to know that I did it.
Yet at the same time, if the media saw it, that would be even worse. (that is Helena speaking)
self analysis
SEX
i feel like my sex history is a series of awkward and cringe-worthy encounters. I think my body hates me...or is at least frustrated.
body: "sabrina, you idiot, use me! I'm that awesome thing you admire but don't know how the fuck to maneuver or control. I have everything you need to be a sex goddess!"
sabrina: "i know! fuck me! oh wait...i don't know how. (cringe. defeated laugh.) I continue to choose the wrong people, and then say the wrong things. Basically I'm in the habit of undermining my own sexual self."
...where do i start? AAAAAHHHHHH!
CHEESE
there was a cheese tray at the concierge / business owners dinner last night. It had goat, english cheddar, irish cheddar, cranberry stilton, regular stilton, green grapes covered in blue cheese crumbles, breaded and baked, and me cheese. I only tried the grape after phil, my co self-aggrandizing host insisted. It was good, but I would have preffered the brie and goat. With the candied walnuts and cranberries on the table. Next time.
WINE
lack there of in yesterday's entire evening. NEXT TIME.
READING
Celestine Prophecy still. I'm a 'poor me' I think. Not the self title I want, but nonetheless true. I'm going to examine my childhood/parents more critically though so I can figure out my life questions and start stringing a long coincidences. Maybe that will rescue my sexual self in some way.
i feel like my sex history is a series of awkward and cringe-worthy encounters. I think my body hates me...or is at least frustrated.
body: "sabrina, you idiot, use me! I'm that awesome thing you admire but don't know how the fuck to maneuver or control. I have everything you need to be a sex goddess!"
sabrina: "i know! fuck me! oh wait...i don't know how. (cringe. defeated laugh.) I continue to choose the wrong people, and then say the wrong things. Basically I'm in the habit of undermining my own sexual self."
...where do i start? AAAAAHHHHHH!
CHEESE
there was a cheese tray at the concierge / business owners dinner last night. It had goat, english cheddar, irish cheddar, cranberry stilton, regular stilton, green grapes covered in blue cheese crumbles, breaded and baked, and me cheese. I only tried the grape after phil, my co self-aggrandizing host insisted. It was good, but I would have preffered the brie and goat. With the candied walnuts and cranberries on the table. Next time.
WINE
lack there of in yesterday's entire evening. NEXT TIME.
READING
Celestine Prophecy still. I'm a 'poor me' I think. Not the self title I want, but nonetheless true. I'm going to examine my childhood/parents more critically though so I can figure out my life questions and start stringing a long coincidences. Maybe that will rescue my sexual self in some way.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Girly Talk
Ok. So I've invited 2 special ladies as co-authors to this blog to make it a 'team member blog.' ... so hopeZully I won't be the only author. It'll be Girl Talk. I did see that I already had a proZile though, and I was called sweet shit. i thought that worked beautiZully.
indian princess: post the pictures iZ you can Zor this wonderZul bloggyboo. And all authors Zeel Zree to explore the settings and reZormat the Zont, placement, etc...essentially mold it to delight you.
So I weighed myselZ this morning (dread!) and gained about 3 lbs in Texas. Everything is bigger in texas i guess. Haha. I can handle that and am relieved that I know where I stand. My mom's reaction wasn't as nonchalant as I had wanted it to be but she didn't Zlip a shit about it. God it is ridiculous that this is what i write about! But on other news we are having a birthday lunch Zor diego today with the Zam. And I'm rocking out to Girl Talk and unpacking. Oh, and I came home last night to my toilet being clogged with shit! It stunk. I don't know how long it was there, but deZinitely more than a day.
Um, and so my mom and diego are going to Epcot in Disney Zor his birthday on Tuesday, they are leaving Monday. I've vaguely made plans with Logan that night to cook and hang out but I'm a little scared about having the whole house and night with him. I'm not used to the Zreedom anymore. Thoughts/comments ?
OH...and apparently Adri's house is starting an intense organic garden and they've Zound a restaurant buyer, but they need volunteers and so my mom and I are going to go over there and learn all about it and I might get my long slender hands in the precious god-giving dirt. and grow some sweet shit.
'Those with mirror-like hearts do not depend on fragrance and color; they behold Beauty in the moment.' - Rumi
indian princess: post the pictures iZ you can Zor this wonderZul bloggyboo. And all authors Zeel Zree to explore the settings and reZormat the Zont, placement, etc...essentially mold it to delight you.
So I weighed myselZ this morning (dread!) and gained about 3 lbs in Texas. Everything is bigger in texas i guess. Haha. I can handle that and am relieved that I know where I stand. My mom's reaction wasn't as nonchalant as I had wanted it to be but she didn't Zlip a shit about it. God it is ridiculous that this is what i write about! But on other news we are having a birthday lunch Zor diego today with the Zam. And I'm rocking out to Girl Talk and unpacking. Oh, and I came home last night to my toilet being clogged with shit! It stunk. I don't know how long it was there, but deZinitely more than a day.
Um, and so my mom and diego are going to Epcot in Disney Zor his birthday on Tuesday, they are leaving Monday. I've vaguely made plans with Logan that night to cook and hang out but I'm a little scared about having the whole house and night with him. I'm not used to the Zreedom anymore. Thoughts/comments ?
OH...and apparently Adri's house is starting an intense organic garden and they've Zound a restaurant buyer, but they need volunteers and so my mom and I are going to go over there and learn all about it and I might get my long slender hands in the precious god-giving dirt. and grow some sweet shit.
'Those with mirror-like hearts do not depend on fragrance and color; they behold Beauty in the moment.' - Rumi
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Cheese at breakfast.
We started you. Anita is cooking lunch. I think we're all glowing. We're going to get the juice going...flowing...
into our lips!
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